Donald Trump
RESUME
— I'm the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far. Nobody's ever been more successful than me. I'm the most successful person ever to run. Ross Perot isn't successful like me. Romney ― I have a Gucci store that's worth more than Romney. Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest ― and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault.
Experience
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2017
Became 45th president of the United States
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2016
Won election race with 77 votes more than Clinton, yippe-kee-yay!
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2015
Became the most important Republican nominating for presidential election run
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2009
Changed my mind and became Republican again
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2005
Started Trump University with Michael Sexton and Jonathan Spitalny: no grades, certificates and other bureaucracy, but program offered courses in real estate, asset management entrepreneurship, and wealth creation. 98% students gave positive reviews while studying, however some of these ungrateful gringos filed lawsuits against Trump University after the course. I had to pay $25 million to settle that...
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2002
Acquired the former Hotel Delmonico, which was renovated and reopened in 2004 as the Trump Park Avenue. I sure do like my surname!
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2001
Completed Trump World Tower and joined the Democratic Party
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1999
Started buying golf courses. They are very cheap, I have 18 of them now in USA and abroad! Also switched to the Reform Party that year
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1997
Began a multi-building development along the Hudson River, which was named Trump Place. Me and the other investors sold our shares for $1.8 billion and that was then the biggest residential sale in the history of New York City
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1996
Acquired the Bank of Manhattan Trust Building, which was a vacant seventy-one story skyscraper on Wall Street. After an extensive renovation, the high-rise was renamed the Trump Building
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1994
Refurbished the Gulf and Western Building on Columbus Circle, turned it into a 44-story luxury property known as Trump International Hotel and Tower
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1989 - 1992
Ran a second hand airline called Trump Shuttle. What a waste of money, I had to sell it, now it is American Airlines Shuttle, btw
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1989, 1990
Learned about Tour de France and decided to hold my very own Tour de Trump. Is America not great enough for that cycling competition?
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1988
Acquired the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan for $407 million, invested $50 million to restore the building and boosted it from three-star to four-star hotel (I called it "the Mona Lisa" and sold it for a lot of cash in 1995)
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1987
Registered as a Republican
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1985
I bought the Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach and turned it into a private club.You can join if you pay $200K initiation fee (and there is another annual fee for members, it is very expensive to be rich). That year I also opened a casino called Trump Castle. My wife Ivana became a manager, because she is another Trump!
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1983
I purchased New Jersey Generals, an American football team. I changed team's play schedule and filed an antitrust lawsuit against United States Football League, so NJG are not doing so good now, but back then they were great!
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1980
Started developing the Trump Tower skyscraper in Manhattan, I payed a crew of undocumented Polish workers to demolish the historic Bonwit Teller store, including art deco features. All this to make architectural critic Paul Goldberger say in 1983 that the tower's atrium is "the most pleasant interior public space to be completed in New York in some years". At the same time I also started a repair job on the Wollman Rink in Central Park and completed the work in three months for $1.95 million, which was $775,000 less than the initial budget!
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1978
Purchased a 50 percent stake in the derelict Commodore Hotel and turned it into the Grand Hyatt Hotel in 2 years of remodeling
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1971
Was promoted to president of the company and renamed it The Trump Organization
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1968
Began my career at my father's real estate development company, Elizabeth Trump & Son
Personal Life
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2006
Melania gained United States citizenship and gave birth to our son, Barron
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2005
Married her
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1999
Divorced Marla ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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1998
Met my future third wife, Melania Knauss
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1993
Married Marla and had a daughter, we named her Tiffany, because I like Tiffany & Company jewellery as well
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1992
Started affair with Marla Maples, so I had to divorce. God knows I love nice women, I love them all!
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1984
Birth of Eric Trump
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1982
Birth of Ivanka Trump
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1977
My first son is born. I called him Donald, of course!
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1977
Married Czech model Ivana Zelníčková